Resource

How to Start a Conversation With a Young Person Who May Be Experiencing Intimate Partner Violence or Teen Dating Violence

Ask the young person if their partner has ever:

Tried to stop them from seeing or talking to family or friends.
Calls them derogatory names, puts them down, or criticizes them.
Threatens or scares them.
Pressures or forces them to do something sexual when they don’t want to.
Physically hurts them.
Humiliates them when they are alone or in front of others.
Controls them.
Gives them the silent treatment for not doing what they want.

Give the young person time and tools.

Explain that a healthy relationship is one in which their partner cares about their happiness.
Express concern that they may not be in a healthy relationship.
Encourage them to think about their relationship.
Assure them that you will be there if they want to talk and encourage them to talk with someone else if they are not comfortable talking with you.
Share resources that might be helpful.

If you are working with a young person you believe is experiencing IPV or TDV, share the following hotlines:

- The National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org
- National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: https://www.loveisrespect.org

Suggested citation: Kull, M., Schlecht, C., & Griffin, A.M. (2022). How to Start a Conversation With a Young Person Who May Be Experiencing Intimate Partner Violence or Teen Dating Violence. Child Trends. https://activatecenter.org/resource/a-research-based-question-and-answer-resource-on-intimate-partner-and-teen-dating-violence-for-youth-supporting-professionals

Author Attribution: This document was developed as part of a partnership between Child Trends and Chapin Hall. Authors of this resource from Chapin Hall include Melissa Kull, MS, PhD, Colleen Schlecht, MPP, and Amanda Griffin, PhD.

Acknowledgements
The authors would like to thank the many contributors to this resource. Experts who informed the resource include:
- Elizabeth Aparicio, University of Maryland
- Heidi Beaubriand, Oregon Department of Human Services
- Cathy Benn, Second Story for Teens in Crisis
- Soraya Borja, Second Story in the Community
- Lauren Luberda, Second Story for Teens in Crisis
- Kimberlyn Pena, Second Story in the Community
- Rachel Roberts, Children’s Aid Society of Alabama
- Shakira Washington, National Crittenton
Thank you also to the several youth-supporting professionals, young people, and other experts who contributed but are not named here. We also thank other Activate project team members who assisted in the development of this resource including Mindy Scott, PI and Jan DeCoursey, Project Director. We are grateful for the contributions of other Child Trends, Chapin Hall, and Healthy Teen Network staff who contributed to this resource including:
- Jenita Parekh, Child Trends
- Julie Blechman, Child Trends
- Marina Duane, Chapin Hall at the University of Chicago
- Nicholas Sufrinko, Healthy Teen Network
- Milagros Garrido, Healthy Teen Network
- Jennifer Farmer, Healthy Teen Network
Finally, a special thank you to the Child Trends communications staff, especially Kelley Bennett, Olga Morales, Catherine Nichols, Brent Franklin, and Stephen Russ.

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How to Start a Conversation With a Young Person Who May Be Experiencing Intimate Partner Violence or Teen Dating Violence

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